About Me

I used to think one way. Now I think another. I blame the internet. Time to get even. For me, this means learning how to live with both the past and the future in the present.

Saturday, December 18, 2010


Step 1: Get out of debt
Step 2: Buy precious metals
Step 3: Keep large amount of cash in reserve
Step 4: Save seeds
Step 5: Stock up on non-perishables, medicine, water
Step 6: Buy a gun
Step 7: Buy Land
Step 8: Buy some livestock
Step 9: Build self-sustainable house
Step 10: Join comunity co-operative

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

THE JOURNEY TO ENLIGHTENMENT

........BECOMING A MORE LOVING PERSON
.....DISCOVERING EVERYONE IS YOUR FRIEND
...
................ STEP 1 ................
when someone upsets you seek a quiet place
calm down by visualizing LOVE flowing through you
................ STEP 2 ................
write down what you think the other person was trying to tell you
................ STEP 3 ................
return and thank him for having the courage and taking the time
to point out areas for you to improve making you a more loving person
this step is very very difficult as you must first overcome your fear
................ STEP 4 ................
show him your list of ideas he suggested
ask him if this is what he meant to tell you
he will be happy to point out where your list is correct
and where it needs to be revised
thank him again for his suggestions
and tell him you will be working on them
and want him to keep an eye on you
and let you know when you need more help
................ STEP 5 ................
return to your quiet place
divide the list into three piles
put the most difficult one's on your mental shelf
to be worked on when you are able to address them
make a second almost able to do pile
now start working on the easiest pile
................ STEP 6 ................
watch the other person’s reaction to your efforts
to remove your faults using his suggestions
you have turned an enemy into a teacher into a friend
................ STEP 7 ................
WHEN THE STUDENT IS READY THE TEACHER WILL APPEAR
*********** YOU HAVE JUST MET ONE ***********
................ STEP 8 ................
anytime someone upsets you repeat these steps
you will eventually reach a point
where you will be seeking out people who can upset you
and they will become harder and harder to find
...
... ABSOLUTE JUSTICE
...
your thoughts are magnets and will attract others with similar magnets
the two coming in contact will dissipate each other
the result will be as pleasant or unpleasant for you as the thought was when you created it
this is an absolute system of justice
and by your choices you are your own judge
...
... MILE MARKERS ON YOUR JOURNEY
...
self......................individual consciousness
self centered.........focused upon your own interests
self serving...........advancing your own interests
self willed..............tenacious adherence to your own interests
self doubt..............questioning your direction
self judgment.........evaluating your direction
self pity................seeing your lack of concern for others
self evaluation.......determining your worth
self mastery..........removing ego from all decisions
self less................your primary concern is your effect upon others
self......................group consciousness
.
all of us will reach this last 'self'
where we are over qualified to be famous
and under qualified to be invisible
by allowing love to express through us
we are becoming a quiet helper a teacher
some call these angels
...
... LIVING AN IMPERSONAL LIFE
...
use 'i' and 'me' with an apology
'you' with a compliment
refer to 'self' by first name
...
... INTEGRITY
...
integrity has he who is what he believes others should be
...
... IS THE CUP HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY ?
...
assume the cup is our mind
and can hold only negative and positive thoughts
if it is half full of negative thoughts
trying to remove them one by one
we end up with an empty cup
but if we keep putting positive thoughts into the cup
each positive will push a negative one out of the cup
we end up with a cup full of positive thoughts
...
... EXPERIENCE
...
understanding (belief) is what you read or were told
the stove is hot
knowing (faith) is the 'action' of personal discovery
touching the stove
the difference between understanding and knowing is 'experience'
and each new experience creates more compassion and less fear
moving you closer to your 'ideal'
...
... IDEAL
...
a moral guide post or compass
i am light going to meet light and only goodness can result
let there be more love in the world and let some flow through me
I AM expressing I AM THAT I AM
create your own ideal
refer to it frequently
and only make decisions that match this 'ideal'
...
... CRITICISM AND SUGGESTION ARE THE SAME WORD
...
criticism -- being reminded you are not following your 'ideal'
and unhappy you were reminded
suggestion --being reminded you are not following your 'ideal'
and thankful someone took the time to tell you
seek out people who can upset you
and thank them for pointing out your faults
refer to 'Discovering Everyone Is Your Friend' above
...
... HOW DO YOU FIND A TRUE TEACHER ?
...
criticize him
a 'true' teacher will never react feeling it was a criticism
he will know it was a suggestion
to him criticism and suggestion are the same word
there will be a pause
as he analyzes your input
using the eight step program above
then he will thank you
this friend is a role model
...
... FORGIVENESS CLOSURE
...
you cannot forgive another only yourself
for holding such anger against another
forgiveness will happen when you are able to refocus your thoughts
anger attracts anger
calm attracts peace 'closure'
'Absolute Justice' will establish balance
...
... JUST A SUGGESTION
...
"be more aware of MY presence"
...
... LOVE
...
there is an eternal creative presence in each of us
our purpose is to allow this presence to express through us
this expression we call LOVE
by giving attention acknowledgment appreciation respect and admiration to all we encounter
until it becomes so automatic we are no longer aware of doing it
we have become a channel for this expression
by giving what we wanted to receive
we became that which we sought
...
... THE SILENCE
...
purpose of yoga and meditation
become quiet
assume a comfortable position
focus on a positive mental image
until you are aware of your body and mind
but they no longer interfere
enter the silence
you are no longer aware of your mind and body
you and your soul are one
become absorbed by the 'presence'
your soul is one with the 'presence'
your focus is absolute without 'time'
your minds are joined
allowing the 'presence' to express through you
your whole life changes
becoming easier
more fulfilling
healthy
you are no longer responsible for your actions
you are only responsible for remaining 'receptive'
this is called
...
... ENLIGHTENMENT
... THE AWAKENING
...

...
... FILLING THE 'VOID' WITHIN
...
we each have an 'empty' spot within
and we spend our time seeking to fill this emptyness
we call this being 'lonely'
imagine we each have a 'love' tank within us
and the degree of empty or lonely we feel
is how much 'love' we have in our tank
happy, content, sad, worried, depressed all describe this
...
we say there are 'good' and 'bad' people
these words only describe how much love is in someone's tank
our purpose is to acquire more love and this happens
each time we allow the 'presence' to express through us
...
we are not here to change others
we are here to change ourself
others will notice this 'enlightened' change
and through admiration of our efforts
they will seek to make similar changes in their lives
and when they encounter difficulties
they will ask us how we were able to overcome them
we have become the 'teacher' we have always sought
...
when we have a problem
we are the problem
as we are the only thing we can change
...
others are here to 'upset' us by providing contrast
showing us we need to make a personal change within
we need to be thankful they took the time to help us
by listening to their advice we can grow
others are at their own level of awareness
and are trying to grow just as we are
our purpose is become a friend to everyone
to become a silent teacher a quiet helper
we are all 'one'
...
... 'PEACE'
...
falling sleep .. waking up .. we are calm and at 'peace'
this is where the 'presence' exists
'contrast' .. good-bad .. sad-happy .. cannot exist
when we are in this state of 'peace'
we need to become more aware of how pleasant we feel
...
awake .. we are in the home of 'contrast'
this is when we easily experience being upset angry sad
when awake remember the pleasant state of being at 'peace'
and practice returning to it to allow anger lonely sad to disappear
...
if we have a contrast thought while at 'peace' we immediately jump to awake
our goal is to remain at 'peace' all the time
this is the 'impersonal' state .. healthy without fear desire or need
here we are open to the voice of 'intuition'
if we unknowingly upset another an apology is automatic
we are seeking to encourage others with kindness and encouragement
...
the purpose of the state of 'peace' to be at one with the 'presence'
and allow the 'presence' to express through us
this is the state we call 'love'
something we all are constantly seeking without success
because we cannot share love with each other
we can only allow it to happen through us
...
we have become so detached from our connection with the 'presence'
we have forgotten who we really are
being at 'peace' returns us 'home'
...

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


My world seems brighter now


We have a new mayor. He is someone who captured my attention years ago with his residential planning suggestions. I discovered he thinks the way I do. Now all of Calgary has heard of him, and some are actually afraid of him because he is a Muslim. We obviously have a lot of work ahead of us in the here and now but I believe he will actually improve the way our city is run.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

What's wrong with me?


I watched some of the Chilean miners' rescue, like a billion other people. I am glad they are out and I am impressed with the technology that achieved this. I am also pleased for their families that the waiting and wondering is over. But that is where it ends. I don't care about it anymore. I don't want to watch a movie or read a book about it. I don't understand how this event could balloon into something this big and apparently hold so much meaning for so many people that have no connection to these people or the country, or the industry. Am I missing a gene the rest of you have? I can feel compassion for a lot of people in a lot of situations, but I am not feeling it to the same degree as everyone else around me. Something has changed me. I think it may be all the reading and research I have been doing this past year on the nature of our existance. The vastness of the universe and divine concerns may be putting earthly events into a different context. I am not sure where all this is leading, but it is a path I am eager to follow.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

10.10.10


Something amazing happened today. I received a link from the 11:11 Awakening group on Facebook. It was a link to a sound and it ran for over seven minutes. I never would have thought it possible that hearing those frequencies in a sustained manner could give me such a feeling inside my body. It felt as if my lymphatic system was draining, my body felt lighter and I felt more peaceful and energetic. I am going to have to listen to this kind of thing more often.

Friday, October 08, 2010

On forgiveness


Do you find it easier to forgive or ask for forgiveness? I have been doing some reading on this recently. It doesn't seem to matter how big or small the transgression, or how long ago the harm occurred. Some people can't let go of their issues and some are too prideful to acknowledge their issues. I think there is more to learn. Then pray and meditate. Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.

Thursday, October 07, 2010

Eat,Pray,Love


Thanks to a late arriving birthday present, this book came into my hands just when I needed it. Although I could not relate to the issues Elizabeth Gilbert had with her life, I thoroughly enjoyed the telling of it. Italy certainly was a more enriching experience for her than I found it to be. Italian food is very good, but I have never felt it necessary to go there to find a good plate of pasta or pizza.

My friend who gave me this book had been in India this year. They had very different experiences as well. This was the third of the book I enjoyed the most. Her search for a relationship with God was so pathetically honest and funny at the same time. I got a lot of good tips on meditation which I have incorporated into my own life.

Gilbert's descriptions of the Indonesian people who live in Bali was a hoot. I am tempted to go there just to soak up the atmosphere. It sounds like a place full of beauty, grace and contradiction.

Gilbert strikes me as a needy, self centred woman, and her year travelling has not endeared her to me, but the woman knows how to write, so even though her life does not resonate in me, I really loved sharing the journey with her.

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Surrounded by fat

When I found myself stuck in neutral (or even reverse) on the road to wellness, I regretted having called my blog fat.fighting.family. It made even less sense when Paul and Quinn didn't show much interest in blogging. But when I thought about it, I could see that there is all kind of fat in our lives that needs to be trimmed.

From the fat morning newspaper, that lands on my doorstep, full of flyers that are never read to the fatheads who participate in (and watch) reality TV, I seem to be surrounded by different kinds of fat in my life. There are even people who wear a fat face, a false one that professes to the world that they belong to the only religion worth joining, or have the nicest lifestyle and are the most giving, charitable people with their time, talent and treasure. There is also another kind of fat that people envelop themselves in, to protect them from being noticed, appreciated or even loved, maybe because they have been told if they stay fat, they are not worth loving, even by themselves.

After my boating accident which I wrote about earlier, I remember thinking, "So THIS is why God made me fat! So I could stay warm and float so well in the water."

Now the question becomes why am I hanging onto this fat and the lifestyle that goes with it? The risks far outweigh the reasons. It is time I shed what is holding me back on my journey through life and became a much lighter version of myself - in body, mind and spirit.

Tuesday, October 05, 2010


Homage to Caprica

The long wait is over and the battle widens. This television show is very enjoyable simply as a rich story. It also works as a warning to our civilization as we greet the advent of Artificial Intelligence coupled with the emergence of a religion with political potential at the same time as we witness the decline of the ruling religions of the world. Food for thought for sure. While speaking of food we decided to treat ourselves to beer and Indian food but passed on the rice and Naan bread. A noble compromise. Man cannot live on Rosedale food alone.
Tonight I merely re-aquainted myself with these fascinating characters. In the weeks to come Paul and myself will have many stimulating conversations while appreciating a perfect merge of technology and human drama.

Monday, October 04, 2010

What's new?

Apart from being older, fatter but hopefully wiser, I figured I'd mention briefly what we are all up to lately.

I quit working full time about two years ago. I really can't remember how long it's been. I just didn't feel that sitting at a desk 40+ hours a week was in my long term best interest. My body, mind and spirit were all screaming at me to get out of that situation. The adjustment has not been an easy one, because I have had a full time career that meant a great deal to me for over 3 decades. The time at home has not always been as productive as I would have liked, but I have managed to find part time work doing what I love, and have spent a good deal of time getting to know myself better through reading, works of art, and meditation. My general health has improved in the past few years since my TSH has stabilized at a manageable level, even though menopause is giving me new hormone challenges, I feel confident that I will be feeling much better in the golden years to come.

Paul is enjoying the challenges of a new position at work, and doesn't seem to mind the overtime it entails. He has a good buddy he likes to chill with on Friday nights to unwind from his hectic pace, and we continue to make a point of leaving town regularly, to have a change of scenery. I would like him to find a hobby he can become passionate about, but so far nothing has grabbed his attention. Paul's diabetes is under good management, but he is beginning to suffer with arthritis in one knee, so he is motivated to lose weight as much as I am.

Quinn is a young adult now, who makes her own decisions, with constant unsolicited guidance from her mom and dad. We supported her decision this summer to quit the business program at the local polytech. She is planning to work the next year and save up for a music diploma, hopefully the one offered in Victoria, BC. She also has a very nice boyfriend that keeps her grounded and happy. We were all shocked recently to find out that Quinn's liver is not functioning very well at all. Apart from being told to abstain from alcohol, lose 20 pounds and not take any Tylenol, she is expected to wait six months to retake the blood test. We hope this will work itself out and she can resume a normal life.

That's all folks. I hope you can check in with us here once in a while.

Sunday, October 03, 2010

Never give up trying

Well, howdy my peeps! It has been way too long since I did this, I began to wonder if I ever would return to blogging, but a friend was right. I need to do this to get unstuck again. On the topic of weight, predictably we all fell off the wagon and have even more ground to regain, but I have a new optimism. 3 weeks ago Paul and myself started following the Rosedale diet. It's another type of low carb and its focus is to get our bodies to switch the fuel they prefer to burn from sugar to our body fat. It apparently achieves this when you starve it of sugars and give it readily available sources of good fat, like unsaturated oils. So for 3 weeks we struggled with a huge list of don'ts and went through the tedious weaning process. This week we are ready to begin our new way of life. The diet is now over, and even though the excess fat has yet to drop off we will begin to shed it every time our body runs out of conventional fuel. The difference this time is that it won't go after healthy tissue to find energy but rather the fat we have been storing up for years. I hope to become a regular blogger again so we shall see how it goes.